J.D. Salinger

"Among other things, you'll find that you're not the first person who was ever confused and frightened and even sickened by human behavior. You're by no means alone on that score, you'll be excited and stimulated to know. Many, many men have been just as troubled morally and spiritually as you are right now. Happily, some of them kept records of their troubles. You'll learn from them - if you want to. Just as someday, if you have something to offer, someone will learn something from you. It's a beautiful reciprocal arrangement. And it isn't education. It's history. It's poetry."

Excerpts from "I've been to the Mountaintop":

It's all right to talk about "long white robes over yonder," in all of its symbolism. But ultimately people want some suits and dresses and shoes to wear down here! It's all right to talk about "streets flowing with milk and honey," but God has commanded us to be concerned about the slums down here, and his children who can't eat three square meals a day. It's all right to talk about the new Jerusalem, but one day, God's preacher must talk about the new New York, the new Atlanta, the new Philadelphia, the new Los Angeles, the new Memphis, Tennessee. This is what we have to do.

Let us develop a kind of dangerous unselfishness.

You remember that a Levite and a priest passed by on the other side. They didn't stop to help him. And finally a man of another race came by. He got down from his beast, decided not to be compassionate by proxy. But he got down with him, administered first aid, and helped the man in need. Jesus ended up saying, this was the good man, this was the great man, because he had the capacity to project the "I" into the "thou," and to be concerned about his brother.

And so the first question that the priest asked -- the first question that the Levite asked was, "If I stop to help this man, what will happen to me?" But then the Good Samaritan came by. And he reversed the question: "If I do not stop to help this man, what will happen to him?"

The question is not, "If I stop to help this man in need, what will happen to me?" The question is, "If I do not stop to help North Koreans, what will happen to them?" That's the question.

Like anybody, I would like to live a long life. Longevity has its place. But I'm not concerned about that now. I just want to do God's will.

So, I've been diving into my box of sentiments for the past hour.

Just a collection of cards, photos, some dating back to age 14.

A lot of stuff in there made me laugh. The way we used to talk.

The baby dreams I had, and where I am now.

Some were really touching, "non stop emo" as someone put it.

It is good to be emotionally refreshed, to remember what was done,

to remember the people who love and support me.

Anyway..

Most of it ended up in the trash.

If our body is cut, the natural reaction is to mend it quickly, even if that means we do so by our own ill-trained hands. We will commit acts of stupidity, that will surprise even ourselves, to quell the pain. We would rather fill our wounds with gravel than to leave it alone. Such idiocy we do daily.

We must remember we our on a team, and our Captain wears many hats. His hands are steady. He can heal. Leave your wound alone. Don't fill it with the filth that is in arm's reach. Only keep clean until he comes to operate. He is never late. He will heal, even if its outside of the realm of time. If he amputates now, it is only because it is necessary to be indestructible when you come to die.

Hold on to hope, not to debris.

Questions

How are Christians supposed to wade through depression?

How do we balance between pouring out grace and keeping our standards?

Be still and know

Heart,

Be steadied by his Hand

Shake and shiver no more

The wind may push

The rain may pelt

However, there is nothing that

Eternity cannot remedy

Thus fix your eyes There

not Here

Then Jesus told his disciples,

"If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. or whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. or what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul? For the Son of Man is going to come with his angels in the glory of His Father, and then he will repay each person according to what he has done. Truly, I say to you, there are some standing here who will not taste death until they see the Son of Man coming in his kingdom."

If you want to follow Jesus, the route is self-denial. The path is suffering. To attain the eternal, we must sacrifice the immediate. We do this not because we're ascetic masochists. We do this because we believe the Psalmist that Jesus is better than life (Psalm 63:3). Can you taste it? In the morning, in the noon time, in the evening, is the divine taste of Christ on our tongue? Do we open our mouths before our Bibles to collect sustenance? Truly the promises drip from the ends of verses like honey from the comb. It is a sweetness that does not produce decay, only depth. It teaches us of a delight this world does not know how to satisfy. It only faintly remembers the sweetness that once alighted its soil and sand, somewhere between Tigris and Golgotha. Will we believe the echoes from Perfection once planted? Will we listen to the chorus that beckons from the stars after each sun-down? Will we be drawn to repent as the sun blazes to make visible beauty beyond what our closed-eyes can imagine? This is always our choice. Will we become increasingly sensitive to our sin, inching towards God by hanging on to the hem of Jesus' robe; Or will we deny our need, scorn the shame of need, and forget being dragged through the dirt? Will we choose pleasant pastures of grass fields to energetically eat and store? We are not destined to be cows. Don't settle to be one.

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Jesus will come clothed in electric white dipped in blood woven in the skies, no longer adorning the mocking majestic purple supplied by Rome. Emanating beauty and splendor from his pores, it will be like seeing a man made of diamonds, except it will produce terror, not want. He will come as the blessing, the gift, the sight-for-sore-eyes, the treasure, the Savior to some; but to most, he will be their greatest nightmare, their doubts-realized, the preacher's-lies-turned-true, the one who appoints to Hell. He will spit the majority out with disgust.

Keep me, Lord.

---

Father,

Would you strengthen my grip on eternity with you? Would you pry my hands from pleasure in this life? Wash me with your forgiving blood this morning. Remind me of the cost of this breath, and breath eternal. As I sink my heels into the depths of your sovereign, unending majesty, let it prove to be a spring board into radical Christ-like love and grace: a dying to self until I live with you. This life is vapor; life with you is the Pacific.

Lead me in the way everlasting.

Your son,

Sanghyo