666

First off, let me be a little explicit on what, or whom rather, I love. I love Jesus, His words, the redeeming work He did for me, and all things that centered around this Son on God. Beautiful, right?

This lovely center of attention is contrasted by that which I hate. I abhor evil, the Devil, sin and all things that hook my eyes away from the Savior towards hellish things. I hate the world in this sense. I also abhor the label Beast, the adjective beast, the verb to beast, beast out, beastin, etc.

Why in hell do I use this word? Why are the three sixes dancing from my heart, through my mind, off the tip of my tongue onto myriads of ears to ease into minds and slide down into hearts to produce a comfort around this word. Why do I not watch my words? my heart?

forever twenty three

Vince Choi berkeley ain't got nothing on us. we're gonna walk around this town like we own the streets, and stay awake through summer like we own the heat, singing "everybody wake up its time to get down." i'm gonna stay twenty forever but forever only lasts 3 years until I start leaving jimmy eat world lyrics on your facebook

March 14, 2007 at 2:45am

I remember when I used to write posts

I would write a million words

and delete them all

And write down the motto of my then-life

Fuck the world.

Wait, was that then? Or is it now.

Blaise Pascal once said:

“There is a God shaped vacuum in the heart of every man which cannot be filled by any created thing, but only by God, the Creator, made known through Jesus”

I think I understand what Pascal is saying. I believe he is saying that only God can fill the void in our chest, and all other things cannot satisfy even the smallest snippet of our souls. Yes, I would agree with this. I would hope, however, that no one assumes that just because God is not there, that this man is empty. If God is not enthroned in a man's heart, I believe someone else is. I imagine unseen demonic forces dancing and merry-making in the decrepit cavernous monstrosities we call "hearts". I see our venae cavae pumping life blood into our cavaties to feed these demons, making them more and more plump, and thus giving them more life, volume, and furthermore power and control. This..

#9 & #10

Resolved, to think much on all occasions of my own dying, and of the common circumstances which attend death.

Resolved, when I feel pain, to think of the pains of martyrdom, and of hell.

Jonathan Edwards

Immediacy and Eternity

What surrounds me?

Comfy beds

and good friends

pretty girls

who drink til they hurl

carpeted floors

and space galore

life run by the clock

and super-white socks
that hide scars

produced by cars

like the one I drive every single day

to the place where I get paid

to feed my feeble desires

and ignoble ambitions that are better off thrown into the fire

This is what surrounds me. Ephemeral fashions, fickle passions, fleeting beauties, degradable everything, all things destructible, moth-edible, and stealable by thieves. I am saturated with longings that seldom satisfy anything except for my stomach (temporarily) and my eyes never. This is what suffocates me so subtly, yet so surely. This is the way that Satan attempts to squeeze my esophagus shut with his strong grip.

"Let your wealth be the reason for your worship.

There is no higher pleasure than what a woman can provide.

Find transcendence in the wilderness, don't look to a 'creator'."

To satan's deadly whisper in my ear, I shout back and echo the cry of John Piper: "to Hell with the Devil" as I wrench His hand off throat and cling to the promises set forth in the Word.

Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful.

Nada podra separarnos del amor de Dios

He has not destined us for wrath, but for obtaining salvation through Jesus Christ who died for us, so that whether we are awake or asleep we might live together with him.

My hope lies not in the immediate. Not in the comfortable arms of a loved one. Not in the gaze of a lady. Not in the promise made by man. Not in the assurance of a bank account. I do not rest fully in my insulated home. I do not find peace through clever adages and illumination in pithy aphorisms. I do not drink from my immediate experiences and conferences as my fountain of life.

My hope lies in the eternal son of God, Jesus Christ, my fountain and foundation. The one who is my substitute on the cursed tree, the ultimate expression of God's love. He is my savior who rescues me from this body of death. He wrenches Satan grip from my throat, and frees me from sin. It is he who then takes Satan's head and crushes it under his foot, just as the Word prophesied. He is my stronghold, my refuge, my strength.

Whom have I in heaven but you?
And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.