Zigzagged through traffic

Middle fingered a half dozen cars

Honked at one

High beamed the rest

Swerved into a parking spot

Picked up a six-pack
Plopped on the couch

I close my eyes to forget their faces

Too late

They're branded, seared, burned into the inside of my forehead

I want to forget it after 2PM
I can't

I walk through the halls to pray

Is it useless?

I'm new

It will get better

I'll get used to it

I don't want to get used to it

Shock is a reaction of the innocent

If I lose the former, I lose the latter
A cheap price?

I train harder now

with more purpose

I eat more

a lot more

I'm not trying to get pretty
I'm trying to get ugly

I end each hour with a pile of regrets

I keep them at my breast pocket

They weigh like lead

I want my fists to be like lead

I hate it

but I can't get enough

It riles up a destructive force

I want to break the bad bones
I want to grind the evil into powder

I want to sew up the malicious lips

I can't do it with lead hands
I'll need something better

Give me wisdom

Give me ability
Give me backbone

I don't have love for these unlovable bastards

Please, give me that too